The Eighteenth hole

Brandon glared into the cavern from the tee box. Jagged rocks and lava flows awaited them on the eighteenth hole. Far below the rumbling of a beast, so foul it warranted caution from the gang. The final basket was before them, and Brandon was leading by one stroke. The Todd fell behind after launching into a rage after missing a putt and throwing his disc seven times at the basket post until it snapped in half. Lollipop was now in second and poised to take down the smelly, nefarious goblin.

“Want to call it? I take the win, and we don’t have to deal with the heat?” Brandon squirmed at the thought of going deeper into the cavern. “Not like you guys are all that good on this hole?”

Confident Brandon turned to gauge his opponent’s reaction.

The Todd stared back with his club in hand. Lollipop brandished his hammer and raised his tome, with his gaze to the heavens.

“Fine, no need for all the hostilities. I’ll just throw the old pesty and see how it does.” Brandon said.

His slow steps took him to the edge of the box, and with a poor forehand, he tossed his disc into a river of lava.

Brandon felt Todd’s hand press against his chest. Without warning, the undersized goblin was thrown across the tee box and slammed into a collection of stalagmites.

When his eyes adjusted, Brandon squinted at Todd standing over him.

“Throw where it lies!” Todd picked Brandon up by his feet and smashed him through the bench next to Lollipop’s bag. “Rest, you wait for us to throw.”

Lollipop stepped up to the tee and, with his usual flamboyant wrist flick, his disc sailed around the corner into the lair of the dragon.

“Wasn’t half bad, guess the light is with me even here.” Lollipop offered Brandon a bottle of water. “Have a drink, it is quite refreshing.”

Brandon raised the bottle to his lips and, like so many times before, his trust in Lollipop’s kindness was misplaced. He burst into flames only to have Todd bash him repeatedly with his bag to put out the roaring blaze.

“Sorry about that, I keep forgetting you’re sensitive to holy things,” Lollipop said.

Brandon crawled away from the paladin to see where his other opponent’s disc lands.

He watched Todd’s disc sail into a bat before splitting the poor creature in half and lodging the blood-covered plastic into the wall.

“Todd no like, flying, furry thing.” Todd snatched his bag and walked to his disc. “Silly human, Todd call you Lollipopotamus.”

“Todd, call me names all you like; the score is the only truth in the game,” Lollipop said.

Brandon grumbled and used his grabber stick to retrieve his disc. The end of the grabber and half of the pole melted away upon touching the lava. Before he attempted anything sly, Todd stood over him and glared past his sunglasses hanging on the tip of his nose.

“Throw where land, you no do silly business,” Todd said.

“Ha, big guy, there ain’t no disc left. Guess I’ll throw from the shore of the lava river.” Brandon reached for his bag.

Todd beat him to the punch and shoved a disc into Brandon’s hand. in one swift motion, Todd stuck Brandon into the lava.

While flailing, Brandon launched the disc into the adjoining cavern, and Todd kindly slammed him into the ground. The swift stop at the end of his short journey put out the flames and left the smoldering sack of goblin to recover.

“Thank you, big guy.” Brandon pulled his bag over his right shoulder and lurched toward the green. “Can, still par.”

Lollipop helped Brandon to his feet. “Sorry about that, you know how Todd can be about the rules. Let’s go see how easy a put you’ve got.”

Brandon waited to enter the next room. Bits of ash clung to his skin and clothes, yet he remained intact for the most part. He watched Todd throw again and again. His chance at winning was gone, and now only primal rage remained. Earth and creatures alike fled in fear of his howling and thrashing at anything in his path.

“It’s okay, big guy, don’t have to birdie them all,” Brandon said.

After three more throws, Todd was ready to join the group on the green.

They waited around the corner and watched the dragon in its natural habitat. Smoke billowed from its maw, and its talons clawed against the bedrock. The beast stood taller than ten men and wore its allegiance proudly. Upon its chest, the smock of the celestial dollar coffee company. The beast’s back was to the group while it played the latest battle royal game by Unique Games.

“So, while he plays that stupid game, we slip in and nail our putts,” Brandon shot his glance back and forth to both Lollipop and Todd. “Come on, are ya with me?”

Lollipop’s disc was the closest and easiest to putt for a tie. Brandon needed to miss for him to win, and that would require a bit of subterfuge on his part. If Brandon missed, Lollipop would take the win.

Brandon stepped into his throw, and his disc drifted on the hot, stale air, but landed short. He almost let out a loud burst of expletives, but Todd shoved his whole hand into the goblin’s face, which kept him quiet for a moment.

Todd stepped forward and tossed his disc.

Brandon noticed the stalactite hanging down, which Todd’s disc struck and sailed into the dragon’s back. All three cowered behind the rocks and watched the dragon march forward. Its fiery eyes sent chills down Brandon’s spine. With razor-sharp teeth and claws, it caused Brandon’s stomach to sink. A dragon could kill a man without even using their superior intellect or magical prowess. The sheer size of such a creature almost sent the gang running for the exit.

Lollipop stepped forward and hailed the dragon. “We are here to peacefully finish our game of disc golf, kind beast, we want no trouble with the dragons or their kin.”

The dragon reared back, the fire in its eyes and rumble in its stomach forced Lollipop to take a step back. The dragon plopped down in front of the group. “Really, like, I just wanted to enjoy my day before work. It’s hard being a streamer when people are always stumbling into my lair. Ugh, could you guys just finish your game and leave? My shift starts in an hour, won’t have time to win any matches at this rate.”

The dragon stomped off and returned to his game and stream. “These losers keep barging in here because Mom and Dad said they needed to rent out the extra space. Not my fault, college wasn’t for me.”

Brandon and Lollipop stared at each other and then at Todd.

“No, ask me, have degree in tech,” Todd said.

Brandon shrugged and dropped his disc into the basket. Dejected, he opened Nymph Disc and recorded their scores. After the walk back, Brandon loaded his gear and listened to Todd complain about Lollipop cheating and the possibility of a doubles tournament the following week.

Lollipop left the victor that day, but Brandon schemed against him and would often have the last laugh. As the paladin climbed onto his horse, Brandon chuckled as tentacles and teeth grabbed hold of Lollipop. The mimic struck again, and Brandon left on his trusty steed to the sounds of Lollipop screaming for the light’s aid.