Brandon meandered up the path to the second tee box. Either side of the entrance to the hole was dotted with trees. Without skill or a fair amount of luck, a player would lose a stroke off the tee. Todd won the previous hole, making him the first to throw. Lollipop came lined up behind him and held his nose. The putrid stench of an orc’s backside was less than favorable. Brandon smiled at Lollipop’s expression and hid in the back, plotting his chance to take out his self-righteous opponent. With his blue pestilence disc in hand, he stroked the frayed ends of his beard and watched for an opening.

Todd lined up to throw. “Me thinks backhand better, fade left closer to the basket.” Without blinking or waiting for a response, Todd threw his disc. “Good throw.”

The disc tore through trees and burrowed into the earth. It traveled twice as far as necessary.

Lollipop stepped past Todd onto the tee box. A soft hymn rang out from the heavens, and angels joined a procession watching him play. Trumpets and drums joined the chorus, and around Lollipop, radiant light cleansed the ground beneath his feet.

“Oh, come on, tell those good-for-nothings to go on already.” Brandon huffed and tossed a disc at one of the angels, striking its face. “Be gone, he doesn’t need all of you layabouts to throw a stinking disc.”

“Brandon, calm yourself. They join me in seeing that the light wins the day.” Lollipop said.

Todd grabbed an angel and hurled it down the fairway toward the basket.

“They fly like discs, maybe we switch to throwing them?” Todd asked.

Lollipop moved his luscious locks from his face and waved his hand. “It is alright, we are here as friends. Do not worry, even with you gone, the light will guide my steps.”

The angels gathered their injured brethren and took to the heavens. With their departure, the song faded, and the light vanished from the playing field. The angel Todd threw had to be held at bay while screaming expletives and giving him the finger, while the other adjusted his halo and rubbed the disc mark on his forehead.

“Now throw already, the wife is making supper and I’m not missing it over your pretty self,” Brandon said.

Lollipop lined up his throw and sent his disc sailing into the opening. He stood tall with a confident smile as the sound of chains clanged in the distance. He gave Brandon a nod and sat down beside Todd.

“Not counting that, can’t see, didn’t happen,” Todd said.

“Of course, and where did your disc land?” Lollipop asked.

“Does not matter, Brandon is best.” Todd said.

Brandon stepped into the tee box and lined himself up with the opening. The foul odor that followed him swirled around the tee and forced any remaining spectators to flee in disgust. His bulbous eyes narrowed as he stepped forward in the box. Brandon turned and slung his disc; it clipped branches, but landed a fair distance beyond the tree line.

“Not the best, and maybe on the next hole, your luck will dry up, Mr. Holy light. Come on, Todd, let’s finish out this hole.” Brandon snatched his bag off the ground and aimed a gnarled stick at his trusty steed. After a strange beep, he shoved it back into his bag. “Got to be safe, don’t want anyone making off with the old gladiator.”

Brandon followed the pair down the hill and ran through scenarios in his head of what he would do to Lollipop should he get the upper hand. Most importantly, he thought of how it would look for a paladin to be defeated by a lowly goblin. His thoughts twisted around from the figurative destruction of Lollipop to poking the paladin with sharp implements or using a flask of acid to melt him into goo. Brandon found his disc lying against a tree.

Todd, being farther away, meant it was his turn to throw. Todd tore a tree from the ground and swatted away the brush and vines between his disc and the basket. “Silly paladin, hold this.” When finished, he threw the tree at Lollipop.

Lollipop turned and opened his arms, “Sure, good buddy, what have you-“

Taken off guard, the tree launched Lollipop toward the next hole.

“Ha, doesn’t count as a stroke, not a disc,” Todd said.

Todd threw his disc, the speed of which severed the pole and sent the top of the basket crashing to the ground. With a loud thunk, it became lodged in a tree.

“Go, goblin child, must get disc,” Todd said.

Brandon took a breath and coughed uncontrollably, “oh god, is that how I smell?”

Lollipop raised a hand while still under the tree, “Yep, but I don’t judge my friends. Well, not a lot.”

Brandon rolled his eyes and tossed his disc. It landed on the broken pieces of the basket, giving him a birdie on the hole.

Todd ripped a piece of the tree loose with his disc and slammed into the basket.

“Par, I still lead, silly man, not lead, he cheats,” Todd said.

While spitting out leaves and bark, Lollipop knocked dirt from his armor. “I do, just because you’re losing doesn’t mean I’m cheating. Besides, you won the last hole.”

“Shut it,” Brandon said.

He pulled the Nymph from his bag and yelled in her face, “Todd three, Lollipop one.” Brandon turned away and acted as though he was checking his bag, “Disc goblin two.”

From behind, he heard Lollipop’s voice, “Did you just call yourself, disc goblin?”

“No, I’d never, I mean, how many goblins play disc golf?” Brandon asked.

“Todd knows a goblin who plays disc golf. Named Brandon, do you know him?” Todd eyed Brandon and waited gleefully. “Well, do you?”

“Are you serious? wait, yes, I know him. And to your question, even if I called myself that, which I don’t. Would it be so bad?” Brandon took out his orange disc and leaned against a tree beside the third tee box.

“No, but I think it would be rather nice. Maybe you have left the life of endless drudgery behind. Those who worked in the factory are likely living much better lives.” Lollipop said.

Brandon smiled. “Yes, all good, everything good.”

Brandon’s mind wandered to question whether those he left at the factory were filling his work orders. He snapped out of it with an odd shiver and a glance at a small coal heater in his bag.

“Come on, let’s get this round over with. The wife’s prime troll slop isn’t going to eat itself. You’re up, Blondie!” Brandon said.